So bloated eater of dead cow, you think you know about myself, the Noble, Kind, and Humble Chiun, Master Of Sinanju? I can understand you knowing all about Remo, that lazy pale piece of a pig's ear. But we shall see. Herein lies the first quiz, called the Emperor's Challenge. Pass it or face the Wrath of Sinanju. This is only the first of many such tests that you will face. Many more such questions will I pen in the future. Prove to me you have a higher intellect than that of a melon.

1. Those confused whites, Sapir and Murphy, have three different versions of Remo's initial training, and when he first met the Glorious Master, myself. One even became a motion picture, where a clumsy actor was seen splashing across a lake. I do not splash. I am proper. In this movie, what was Remo's name before being shown the Sun Source?
   1. Sam Makin
   2. Remo Jones
   3. Clumsy Ox
   4. Douglas Lambert
2. As foretold in the Ancient Scrolls, Remo is the reincarnation of Shiva, the Dead Night-Tiger made whole by myself, Chiun the Great. What is the first "Destroyer" where Shiva makes himself known, and takes over Remo's body?
   1. #1 "Created, the Destroyer"
   2. #27 "The Last Temple"
   3. #2 "Death Check"
   4. #3 "Chinese Puzzle"
3. Sinanju, being an ancient house, has many newer houses that are jealous of our glory. They obviously cherish the beautiful Village of Sinanju, and are envious of myself. One of these houses was the Spider Divas, women, who instead of making babies, became killers. When did Remo fall under their evil spell?
   1. #31 "The Head Man"
   2. #93 "Terminal Transmission"
   3. #94 "Feeding Frenzy"
   4. #64 "The Last Alchemist"
4. I, The Reigning Master of Sinanju, published a written history of Sinanju. Instead, infamy upon infamy was committed against the most perfect being on this Earth. Myself. Chiun. Yes, it is true! Do not shake your head in wonder - it will only loosen your fat clogged brain. They changed the name! I wanted to write about the joys of my home village, Sinanju. "No", they said. I wanted to publish a short 912,321 stanza Ung poem. Again they said "no." What was this book finally called?
   1. The Book Of Sinanju
   2. Chiun's Novel
   3. Glorious Sinanju
   4. The Assassin's Handbook
5. Woe unto me, I had a nephew that was trained my myself in the art of Sinanju. He went forth into the world. Did tribute arrive in my poor village? No. Stores were heard "He is killing for money, and keeping it!" This could not be, as Assassins do not kill. "He is taking business away from Sinanju!" was said. Alas it was true. Yes, you may cry for the babies that were sent home to the sea. There was little to be done, as the master can not harm one from the village of Sinanju. What was the name of this traitorous nephew?
   1. Gobi
   2. Nuihc
   3. Ko-Jing
   4. Omer
6. I did not leave Sinanju for many, many years. I watched the beauty that is the bay of Sinanju. I contemplated the Horns of Welcome. I did not ply the trade of my village, for if I left, a nefarious, evil emperor would kill all those who dwelled in my village. I of course would remove the head of this emperor, but it would cost the lives of those I have sworn to protect. By what name do you know this evil emperor?
   1. Smith
   2. Mao
   3. FuManChu
   4. Moo
7. As is well known by you that follow the Glory that is Chiun, I have a pupil. His name is Remo. This ungrateful complainer thought both his parents dead, as did myself. This was not so! When Remo and I met his father, I knew it was him. Remo, blind as always (his elbow was also bent!), did not see this man for who he really was. In what book did this incident occur?
   1. #52 "Fool's Gold"
   2. #93 "Terminal Transmission"
   3. #79 "Shooting Schedule"
   4. #91 "Cold Warrior"
8. Remo will not sire a son to continue the line of masters. I have even offered gold, but he refuses the request from him who has been both mother and father to him - Chiun. Me. The Reining Master. The one who gave Remo the Sun Source. But still he refuses! Yes, shake your head, it is permitted. But Remo has chased after white women with large udders! He even had sex - for enjoyment, not procreation! I could not understand this either. It pains me to ask this, but how many children does Remo have?
   1. None. Zip. Nada.
   2. A girl.
   3. A boy.
   4. A girl and a boy.
   5. Several girls and many, many, boys.
9. I was once asked if I would assassinate a friend. What did I answer?
   1. Yes, if it was not a member of my village.
   2. No. It was not in the contract.
   3. Yes, if paid in advance.
   4. No. That is Remo's job.
10. Few outside Korea know the true history of creation. The beginnings of man. Ten thousand years ago, this happened in Korea. The supreme being created a woman and a man.. Their union brought forth the first perfect being, the first Korean. He was named Tangun, later Tangun the Great. All Koreans are descended from Tangun the Great. From whence did all other races spring?
    1. Mongrel sons and daughters of the Supreme Being.
    2. Remo was enjoying himself during one of our trips into the distant past.
    3. We can only assume that the Earth spat them out as unworthy.
    4. What does it matter? They are not Korean.

That was too easy. But Generous Master that I am,
I will allow this device to grade you..

Look for more quizzes when the mad Emperor Smith allows time.